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cleaning family Schizoaffective Disorder

Negative Nancy?

I haven’t written in the last few days because my life is pretty mundane sometimes. That and I can’t think of any good topic to write about. I also feel like a Negative Nancy of sorts. Things just don’t feel very good right now, and I can’t say exactly why.

However, I think much of this has to do with being so isolated every day. I spend 99 percent of my time by myself. I’m quite an introvert, but it has always helped to at least feel like someone else was occasionally around.

I’m also pretty stressed out lately. Social Services basically wants me to sell my soul to get any type of assistance. But I need something while I’m applying for disability. The deadlines they’ve given me, and tasks I’m to do, seem to be there for the purpose of making me want to quit.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I hung out with my grandfather and then spent the night at his house. We had a good dinner last night, and then had coffee together this morning. He really appreciates the company, as his second wife recently passed away. I also enjoy the company.

Today is going to be a pretty laid back day. I’m going to focus on reading as much as possible and doing laundry and some other light cleaning. I don’t have to cook because I have leftovers from yesterday that will last me the entire day.

This morning I woke up feeling quite melancholy, but I think things are improving since I spoke with Peter earlier. Hopefully the day will improve, and when I come back to write here, I’ll have a good topic!

Until next time,

Jackie

P.S. – An article I wrote is going to be published on The Mighty soon. Stay tuned.

By Jackie

I'm a fortysomething woman who likes to write a lot! I've been in the mental health system for decades, and have finally been diagnosed correctly with Schizoaffective Disorder. I like to write about mental health, people, relationships, observations, interests, and more.

4 replies on “Negative Nancy?”

That’s great about The Mighty article!

That’s nice that you spent some time with your grandfather. The only real break I have from isolation is when I see my brother and his baby daughter, but I know he’s busy, so I tend to wait for him to suggest it.

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It often does seem like applications and tasks for assistance are just acting as barriers to make us give up on it entirely, and that’s really sad. It’s no wonder you are feeling stressed about it!

I am very introverted, too, but it is nice being at least able to access company when I want it. I totally understand that.

Congrats on The Mighty article! Can’t wait to read it.

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